So…it’s Hallowe’en. Or at least for me it will be for the next 5 hours. I freaking love Hallowe’en, it gives me a chance to try to replicate a character from one of my favourite stories/shows and full take on their persona. I especially love it because what I dress up as is pretty obscure so when people recognize it it makes me beam with pride, because I did it right.

This year, Hallowe’en was taken from me. On Saturday (when I had every intention of updating…) I went to my university’s homecoming. Part of the homecoming tradition is having alumni marching band members perform the pregame show (which was the best thing EVER when you were in the band because you got to sit and watch). I’ve been doing this ever since I got kicked off left the band. Every year I’ve thrown myself into it and come out the other side okay, but this year…not so much. Apparently my age (which is hardly at significant digits) is starting to catch up with me. YAY….?

So basically I got home from the game and took a bath to refresh myself before the haunted house I was going to go to that night. I get out of the bath and I can’t stand up. No really, I had to hunch over at a 45 degree angle to even move my feet, and I was incapacitated for the rest of the weekend.

Let me describe what I was feeling to you. Because I want sympathy people!

Have you ever been stabbed? No? Me neither…But I’m pretty sure it feels something like what my back felt like the moment I got out of that bath. I felt like there were two knives jammed into my spine and every move twisted them around and I couldn’t stand up straight because I was absolutely terrified that I would be paralyzed.

See, I have one of those brains that imagine the worst case scenario and then freaks out about it. Like when I’m getting on the freeway and there’s one of those high ramps that curves viciously…I imagine flying off it and what would happen when I land. Would I hit another car below me? Would I die on impact? Would I shit myself because I’m afraid of heights? Would the car light on fire? Would someone follow me through the hole I made in the wall? I have these kinds of thoughts about those railings on highways that are over big inclines…They scare the beejesus out of me…

So in this situation I was thinking, maybe I have a slipped disc…? So I look it up on wiki (because that’s the place to go for reliable info…um…) and it mentions paralysis and surgeries and suddenly I’m freaking out and first thing in the morning I make my mum take me to urgent care.

Now at this point, it had only gotten worse. I had managed to sleep, but being immobile that long made it excruciatingly painful to even think about moving. Any kind of walking induced spasms that made my legs all but give out on me. And all the doctor said was that it was a sprained back (how the hell is that possible?!). AND my mother chastised me in the car for not describing my pain right, but I could barely hear their questions over the damn pain and my mind telling me to breathe through it. But mostly because of the pain. The doctor made me move around a bit, bending from side to side and I swear I was ready to Bobbitt him.

But then! He gave me drugs. So I’m hyped up on drugs right now and my mum wants to walk me around the driveway to talk to my neighbours but I’m way too out of it to carry out a good conversation. So I thought writing a blog post would be funny all drugged up like this, but I think it came out more coherent than normal.

Maybe I’ll try again if I take the Vicoden…

-Renee

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