Thanks to my brother for pointing out that my strange observations about my fucked up bones made a wonderful title.

I only wrote that because he told me to give him credit. I think this is bullshit.

Let me tell you a little about my brother. I had a different topic planned for this post but after spending a day with the brother, it took a whole different turn.

My brother is um…totally  completely  hugely  a lot  slightly racist. It’s probably his worst trait and I keep trying to get him to stop thinking that way because it’s a completely fucked way of thinking, but he ver doesn’t often listen to me. Big surprise there.

Odd part is: he wants to be a pastor. I remind him that the two don’t really go hand in hand. And then he says something completely fucked up and I’m more than convinced that that’ll probably never happen.

Hell, I’m surprised he’s straight. As a child he used to steal all my makeup and nail polish. The bit I find funny here is I rarely ever wear makeup these days so he could have just kept it and done me a huge favour of the years where I pretended to care about that. But no he didn’t. Mum made him give it back and it was damn funny to watch him slink back to my room carrying my makeup and looking shamed. It was adorable.

He would have been very pretty though. Sad times.

But never the less he amuses me. Today he attempted to goosestep up the stairs. And yes, he should never goosestep EVER cause it’s WRONG but watching him attempt to go upstairs without bending his knees at all was by enlarge on of the funniest things I’ve seen in weeks.

But I have to forgive him for his faults, because for some reason along very well. It’s weird. We tend to think along the same lines when it comes to humour which is part amusing and part frightening when we say the same damn things at the same time.

This is no longer amusing, let’s move on.

I’m finally moving home next week and I’ve decided not to talk to the psycho before I leave because she’s a raging hypocrite and I don’t really care to solve things anyway so I’m leaving before I completely insane. I think my lack of communication is pissing her off which I only find amusing. Yes, I’m a terrible person but I’m the better sibling. Sweet.

Sidebar- raging hypocrisy sounds like it could be a really bad rash. Hmm.

Also, I need to stop leaving myself vague notes  about things I say which be funny on this blog. My short term memory is still crap and all I remember from the note: ‘Crazy eyes theory for blog’ is the fact that my friend’s dog is freaking adorably crazy and has crazy eyes. I think there was something in there about me having crazy eyes too and that’s how people know when they look at me but now I remember that most of the time people think I’m normal until I open my mouth.

So I have a crazy mouth. Perhaps a crazy tongue. That sounds dirty.

-Renee

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