There is just something so fucked up about living in the desert. It’s the fact that we have weather so rarely that the moment we do get some it becomes headline news. Honestly. You could have a damn serial killer running around and a rainstorm would still get the headline spot with some picture of the one person in the city that owns an umbrella. The headline reads “HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL IS FALLING FROM THE SKY?!?!?! RUN OR WE ALL MIGHT DIE!”

 They are really overenthusiastic about punctuation where I live.

 Or they would be if I worked at the newspaper.

 That would be an awesome/fucked up newspaper. I might actually read it. And I belatedly realised that my headline rhymed, so fuck it; all my headlines would rhyme cause that’s how I roll bitches. HELLS YEA.

 I have issues

 My favourite thing about the desert though is that when some weird freak storm happens everyone runs around days later pretending they knew the word “Haboob” their whole life and didn’t just googleit to find out why a giant cloud of dust was attacking their poor little town like a wave tries to take over a beach town.

 Seriously guys? You’re fucking with me right? I didn’t know the word until everyone started to use it on facebookand I thought they were pretentious. Then I started to use it, and I hated myself inside, but then I decided to pronounce it “Hey-boob” so I could stick it in songs. So far I’ve got “Hey Jude” and “Northern Downpour” (Hey boob please forget to fall down–singing this in public doesn’t end well…).

 Basically as a desert native you’re completely fucked. You can adapt to 120 degree weather but the second it gets humid you die inside. You get cold when it’s below 70 and when it rains you either hiss like a cat and retreat indoors or create chores outside so you can go run around in it and pretend this isn’t so rare that you buy lotions that smell like rain to give you just an ounce of hope of remembering the experience.

 In other news the clouds have gone away today and I really miss them. But yesterday was awesome!

 -Renee

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