So most people in my position in life would have the goal to maybe one day help solve a serial killer case (though an existing serial killer. Having to have a new person become a serial killer just so can you can solve it is just wrong and wasteful of valuable human life. Thus proving I have morals), giving a KICK ASS testimony where even the defenseattorney is like: “I have no chance” and seeing that mofo put on death row.

However, my goal is to get just ONE person to read this blog that doesn’t know my real name. Why yes, this is a pen name, I like my job so I’ll keep TYVM. So if you’re that one person let me know cause I love being an overacheiverand I think that counts on your fourth post.

 In other news, this post was supposed to go up on Thursday but my damn computer broke. It’s been on the brink on death for months now, and I tried to get Best Buy to fix it and they just replaced the hard drive which made me way super fucking cranky. So yea, I got a bit delayed by the fact that I was trying to get the devil out of my computer.

NO REALLY. I was watching Paranormal Activity 2 one morning (awesome!) and as soon as it was over I went to do some shit on my computer and the screen starting flickering.

FLICKERING! Like it was possessed by the damn demon from the movie. And for a second I kinda thought it was but then it stopped and it was like OKAY isolated incident everything’s FINE.

Apparently I was wrong. And I had two options. (1) Holy water, (2) Best Buy geek squad. There was also the option of taking it to a priest for an exorcism but they’re not too common these days and priests are all busy and stuff and probably wouldn’t like the fact that I choose not to practise my religion, so yea. Option one would destroy my computer (I know first hand, my computer tried to take a bath once. Actually it rather succeeded and maybe the whole demon thing is revenge….Now I feel guilty for bitching in this post, but I’ve come too far to stop now).

So yes, Thursday the screen did its WOOOOI’MAGHOST deal and then the screen gave out entirely and I drove like a crazy person (as opposed to a only slightly crazy person) to Best Buy and said ‘Fix it or call a priest’, either way this better come back all better or I’ll cry or wring your neck or slap you or something, I can’t predict my behaviour.

I did leave Best Buy saying ‘Time to steal and iPad’….and I’m probably lucky they didn’t hear me say that one. I was really saying that I needed to steal my dad’s iPad so I didn’t go crazy with out a computer. Fail there, I’ve now highjacked my brother’s.

This post fails at being funny.


PS Please be safe today