So I meant to update (or whatever the hell you want to call it) over the weekend but I was busy trying to not light my roommate on fire. Mostly because I know if I did I would lose my job and end up in jail and such but a big part of it is that my apartment would smell really bad and I’d probably lose my deposit.

You know what? It’s a toss up really.

For those that don’t know (if you’re not part of my immediate family I’m going with you don’t….and that you’re probably sane), I live with a crazy person. Which is saying a lot coming from me. She’s a bit self righteous, thinks she’s queen of the apartment, is technologically confrontational and avoids face to face confrontation. It’s awesome (and by awesome I mean I lock myself inside my bedroom cause I don’t want to deal with that bullshit).

It’s been about two months of me not using the rest of the apartment which I have no problem with because I tend to be a hermit any way (it’s scary really, I once locked myself in a dark apartment for six days straight not talking to anyone and only leaving for classes. Yea I’m sane….), but she seems to have a major problem with it. Which only amuses me further. Yes, I’m petty and evil, but it’s fun.

Now I’ve done a lot of ignoring of her selfish and rude behaviour since we moved in in February, and so what happened is partially my fault due to that (see, I’m adult, I can admit mistakes! YAY ME!), but I was just trying to keep the peace, because after living with her for a week I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere by confronting her with problems. So when she turned thirty (on the fourth of July, which might be where the whole ‘lighting on fire’ thing started…I blame the fireworks, I’m innocent here), and she pulled out all the stops on the bitchy behaviour (see story below), I decided I was done with it. This has led to the most hostile and juvenile actions I have ever seen from someone outside of the public school system. I’m seriously considering moving back in with my parents. And they are okay with it, which shows you how bad it truly is.

So for those of you that want to know what sent me over the edge (it’s really dumb, but was piled on a whole ton of shit like a big ass dog pile of bitchiness), continue readying. For those who don’t, I apologize for the above paragraphs, and it’s best you stop now.

You didn’t stop did you? Masochists.

So apparently this girl is one of those that turns into an all-important-LOOK-AT-ME-LOOK-AT-ME type birthday girl. I’m pretty sure she was thinking about having me lay down a red carpet where ever she went, and since she thought it was time to celebrate two weeks before her actual birthday (and the whole time until), I would have had to vacuum that carpet a lot. So we go out shopping and stuff (descriptive, I know) on the Saturday, and then head to a restaurant for lunch, and she pulls out every bitchy move that you should never pull on your waiter. She talked over him, talked down to him, made him change her drink order for no good reason and was generally rude…everything she ever complained about a customer doing to her when we worked in a restaurant. Yea, she was just a month or so out of being a server herself and she’s pulling this crap like she doesn’t know what she’s doing. And every move she pulled after that was beyond bitchy and I know it’s a small thing, but it made me irrationally angry (see irrational, I’m owning up to this shit), and so I stopped talking to her until I calmed down. Which she didn’t let happen, so I’m hiding in a bedroom living in the Roommate War of ’11. And I don’t even have a gun. But that’s okay because I want to light her on fire anyway.

So that’s why I didn’t post over the weekend. I was preventing homicide. Good on me.